The Couch
by denise4
Summary: S/F and a new couch. I don't know what else to say - just R
1. The Couch

  
  
Disclaimer:   
I do not own Cowboy Bebop please don't sue me   
  
  
  
  


**The Couch**

  
  
  
  
Spike and Faye waltzed into the Bebop's living room.   
  
**"Hey what do we have here? a New couch?! wow!"** She said as she unceremoniously plopped herself onto the soft red cushions **"Oooo.... I could just sleep here forever!"**   
  
**"I Thought you said were low on budget"** Spike added sitting on the new couches back.   
  
** "Hey! I don't want any burns on that thing! Keep your cigarettes off it!"** Jet warned.   
  
Spike arched an eyebrow at him as he pushed himself off and started walking away.   
  
**"Hey - Hey! come on out with me for a sec. I Need your help"** Jet called after him.   
  
**"Ask her then!"** Spike says in an irritated tone gesturing towards Faye. His mouth drops open **" No way - she cant possibly be asleep after ...."**   
  
**"Stop yer whining and come on outside and help bring in the supplies"** Jet said.   
  
**"Supplies huh?! is food part of those 'supplies'"** Spike asked as he followed Jet out   
  
**"Yeah - turns out ED misread that last bounty you brought in. Its 10 Billion not 10 Mil" **Jet explained **"So were pretty much covered for some time"**   
  
**"No SHIT! - and Faye doesn't know?"   
  
"nope, she doesn't"   
  
"Heh - heh"** Spike laughed as he strutted his way out.   
  
Hours passed.   
  
**"what are you doing?"** Faye asked as she woke up to find spike seated on the table by the couch looking at her   
  
**"watchin' you sleep?"**   
  
Faye grinned ** "found a new hobby?"   
  
"maybe, now if only you could stay that quiet forever. That would be a gift from the gods" **he said as he pushed Faye aside to make room for himself on the couch   
  
**"Hey! quit hogging the couch lunkhead"** She said as she scooted over. She reached for the remote only to have it snatched away.   
  
Spike turned on the TV and scouted the channels. Faye watched as the TV rapidly changed channels _* it feels so normal now, even with all the bickering and the endless fights we've been having there are times like this when we can actually just exist together........I wonder.........Hah! don't fool yourself you Idiot can you honestly say you can compete with JULIA*_ she said the word in her mind in utter contempt. She turned her attention back to Spike.   
  
**"Nothing good is ever on that thing"** Faye said before yawning **"move!"** she said pushing Spike to the end of the couch. she then promptly placed her head on his lap.   
  
**"What do you think you're doing"** Spike asked looking down at her.   
  
**"I'm going back to sleep..... and since you like watching me so much - just stay there"** she answered.   
  
**"Getting all comfy on me now are ya?"**   
  
**"So..... "** Faye said then wriggled herself around so that her face was buried on his lower abdomen   
  
**"HEY WATCH IT!"** He cried lightly hitting her on the head.   
  
**"Ouch!"** Faye said in mock pain and still proceeded to rub herself on his stomach _*God, he smells good.....*_** "uhmmm.....nice"**   
  
Spike hit her for real this time. **"Watch it shrew or were gonna have one hell of a problem"**   
  
**"Why? is that all it takes to get you hot? really Spike, that aint much of a challenge" **Faye teased as she peaked at him with a devilish grin from under his shirt where her head ended up in with her wriggling   
  
**"a little perverted today are we? I now you craved for me - I didn't think you're this hot!"** He replied with a note of challenge in his voice.   
  
**"uh, is it just me or is it utterly quiet around here?"** Faye said _*I am not going into your bait, Spike I just want to spend some time with you....... oh please, please kami make him just shut up for once*_ she silently prayed.   
  
**"trying to evade the issue eh"** Spike said. He turned off the TV **"But no - were stuck babysitting the bebop, Ed's gone off somewhere and Jets out with one of his old Palls in the ISSP" **   
  
**"Really...."** Faye said her eyes sparkling with mischief   
  
**"HAH! forget it shrew!"   
  
"In Your dreams cowboy"   
  
"why don't you just go back to sleep. "   
  
"why don't you just admit you like the way I look Spike, then maybe Id let you get away with staring at me all the time"   
  
"Don't push your luck cowgirl"** He said as he placed a hand on her eyes to shut them.   
  
Minutes passed until Spike noticed Faye was actually sleeping and not faking it the way she did a few minutes ago. He stretched his arms along the couches back and stared at the ceiling fan as it went round and round._ *When did this start......*_ he thought. Then looked back at Faye _*am I falling for the shrew woman now? - nah*_   
  
Faye was awakened someone was poking on her nose. She looked at Spike with a small smile on his face. **"Now what? you tell me to sleep and then you wake me up - I was having a nice dream too!"   
  
"Was I in it?"   
  
"No"** she answered flatly though there was a slight tinge of red on her cheeks.   
  
_*Cute*_ Spike thought_ *Shit did I just think that? erase that*_ aloud he said **"I'm Getting sleepy wanna switch places?"**   
  
**"Now why would I want to do that? I'm comfortable right now"   
  
"Well you have been using me as a pillow for the past hour, so lets switch places you watch the fan and I got to sleep"   
  
"NO! I Like it right here on the couch why dont cha just go to your room"   
  
"Coz I want the couch" **Spike suddenly stood up. He pushed Faye towards the back of the couch and tried to lie down right beside her.   
  
**"Hey!, Hey! What the hell are you doing?"** She shouted as she felt her face scrunched up on the couch's back.   
  
**"I'm Going To Sleep"** Spike replied trying to push Faye further into the small couch   
  
**"We are not gonna fit here you lunkhead!"** She said trying to shove him off   
  
**"If you dont want to let me have my turn then at least share!"   
  
"What kind of a lame excuse is that?"** Faye asked as she turned her head to face him. Their eyes met and neither wanted to turn away.   
  
**"Just.... scoot over k?"** Spike said his voice was low.   
  
Faye moved **"I told you were not gonna fit"**   
  
**"Lie on your side then"** He said as he pushed Faye to turn her back on him   
  
**"Spike?"   
  
"Stop"** Spike whispered in her ear as he draw her to him in a spoon position.   
  
**_*"Hell, I dont ever want to wake up from this dream"*_** Faye half thought half said   
  
**"Then dont ruin it, go back to sleep Faye"**   
  
_*Oh, God, did I just say that out loud?, did he really...*_ Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt Spikes arms tighten around her small waist and his light breathe on the crook of her neck.   
  
Faye smiled **"So much for your walls Spike, you just fell"**   
  
**"So did you...... stop complaining, I like it better when you're asleep" ** He answered as he gave the back of her head a light kiss.   
  
Jet came back later that night to find Ed watching the two sleeping on the couch. He smiled **"If I'd known all it took to get those two to finally admit their feelings for each other is to buy a new couch, I wouldve bought that thing months ago".**


	2. A Forming Addiction

  
  
**Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews. I wasn't expecting much out of this but I'm glad someone out there liked it. I also wasn't going to write another one, although there was this idea forming in my head last night - then I read Ashley-chan's review, so here goes.   
I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to make out of this fic so if you like it please suggest something.   
This is only my second fic., any further chapters will greatly depend on your reviews so please R & R.   
Ashley-Chan, this one's for you hope you like it.   
  
  
**DISCLAIMER:**   
I Do Not Own Cowboy Bebop Please Don't Sue Me.   
  
  
  
  
**

The Couch: A Forming Addiction

**   
  
  
  
  
The next day, Faye woke up to find Ed perched on the back of the couch. She held Ein in her arms with her tomato perfectly balanced on her head.   
  
  
**"Good morning Faye-Faye"**   
  
  
Faye just stared at Ed sleepily, then her eyes slowly widened in horror as she watched a drop of moisture leave Ein's tongue, to land on her cheek and then trail a wet path to her slightly open lips.   
  
  
**"KIYAAAH!"** Faye screamed as she scampered off the couch, tossing Spike off it and causing Ed and Ein to fall in a heap on top of Spike.   
  
  
Rudely awakened, Spike flailed his limbs around in an attempt to right himself. He managed to get himself on all fours just in time to see Faye stumble out of the living room, one hand covered her mouth as the other held her stomach, her face was green and she was crying a litany of **"Ohmigod, ohmigod, I'm gonna die!"**.   
  
  


*********************** 

  
  
  
An hour, a pack of toothpaste, and 2 bottles of mouthwash later, Faye came out of the bathroom feeling refreshed. She made her way back to the Bebop's living room where she found Spike sitting on 'their' couch, eating green peppers and beef with real beef this time.   
  
  
**"Good Morning"** she said in a sing-song voice as she slowly went around the living room. _* Now where is that dumb mutt *_. Her eyes lit wickedly as she found Ein lying underneath Spike's legs. She drew out her gun and aimed.   
  
  
Spike stood up as Jet quickly walked towards them from the kitchen.   
  
  
**"What?!, what did I do?"   
  
  
"Now Faye, calm down…. put the gun down"**   
  
  
Faye fired, missing Ein by an inch, and Spike's foot by a dot.   
  
  
**"Fuck!"** Spike muttered under his breath._* I asked her last night if she was gonna regret it – she says No*_ he thought mimicking Faye's response in his head._ * Women are nothing but trouble*_. Outside he regained his cool exterior as he grinned at Faye **"Bitch! Don't tell me your complaining now! With all your crying and moaning last night, I'd bet I was perfect!" **   
  
  
Faye's jaw dropped as she looked up at Spike. ** "I wasn't aiming at you, you pervert!"**   
  
  
**"huh?!"**   
  
  
In the corner of her eye, she saw Ein jump into Ed's arms as the kid ran away.   
  
  
**"STOP RIGHT THERE!" **Faye cried as she fired another shot and gave chase.   
  
  
Jet looked from Spikes now blank face to the direction Faye went and back again. _*Did they…, did they do what I think they did last night?*_ he thought as his eyes landed on patches of whitish stains on the new red couch. His face quickly turned from white to red **"FAAAAAYYYYYYYEEEE!" ** He looked back at Spike, who was about to leave. **"SIT DOWN!"**   
  
  
Spike arched an eyebrow at him as he sat down, took a cigarette from his pack and proceeded to light it._* I repeat, WOMEN are nothing but trouble – when am I ever gonna get that through my head?*_   
  
  
Jet took a deep breath** "Didn't I tell you not to smoke on MY NEW COUCH?"**   
  
  
Spike simply got up and transferred his butt onto the table.   
  
  
**"What is it Jet?"**   
  
  
Spike and Jet turned to see Faye grinning like a maniac. Her arms were thrust away from her body with a slowly turning pale Ein stuck by the throat in her hands. Ed was dangling behind Faye, her mouth clamped shut on her Faye's head.   
  
  
**"Alright, that's it!"** Jet said as he took out his shotgun and aimed it at Faye. **"Put the dog down Faye! Ed, find me a bounty!" **_*if I could get these two off my ship I'd have some peace and quiet for some time and maybe be able to clean up MY new couch*_   
  
  
Ein landed on the floor with a small whiny and limped towards Jet.   
  
  
Faye placed her hands behind her back and gave Jet an innocent smile.   
  
  
Ed let go of Faye's head, busily typed on her tomato and quickly passed a print out copy to Jet.   
  
  
Spike took one look at Faye's 'innocent' face and laughed his head off.   
  
  
**"Bring in the bounty, Faye"** Jet said as he handed the printout to Faye.   
  
  
**"What?! why me?"** She complained as she took the printout and read its contents. **"It's a measly 200! What do you think I am, disabled?!"**.   
  
  
Spike just kept laughing.   
  
  
Faye turned to him **"Shut up! Aren't you supposed to be on MY side?"**   
  
  
**"And miss all this? HELL NO!"** He replied.   
  
  
**"Grrrrrr!".** Faye turned around and stomped her way out.   
  
  
**"Well, aren't you going?"**   
  
  
**"Unlike Faye, I happen to know that we don't need the money right now." **. Spike answered as he stood up and whistled as he left.   
  
  
Out on the hangar, Faye was about to board her redtail when she saw Spike come out. **"Took you long enough! well? Are we leaving or not?"**   
  
  
**"What makes you think I'm coming with you?"   
  
  
"Cause I'm goin' after a bounty?"**   
  
  
He smirked **"You call that a bounty? I'm not gonna waste my 'talent' on a small fry, a very, very small – minute fry!" **   
  
  
_*that fuckin' prick!*_**"That so, huh?! Well here's something. Since it's so small, I hardly think it would be enough for me so I'm not sharing!"   
  
  
"I will put a bullet in my head the day you learn the true meaning of 'share'"**   
  
  
Faye's face fell**"do you really think I'm that selfish, Spike?"** she said in a soft tone.   
  
  
_*Aww, come on! Did she actually believe what I said?. She's supposed to know I don't mean any of it – well some of it * _Spike thought as he came closer to her **"look, you know you can just wait for a bigger bounty….then I'd go with you"**. He said as he hesitantly took her hand in his.   
  
  
_*Is that his way of saying 'I'm sorry'? I can't believe it! He fell for THAT! I'm such a great actress!*_.** "No, I'd better go get this one, Jets mad enough" **She said as she looked into his mismatched pairs of brown. _*Oh, no! Oh, no! Wrong move! Why the hell am I so transparent to him?!*_   
  
  
Spike looked back at her and found…. **"You little….."** he trailed off as he let her hand go **"Get lost shrew!"** he said as he walked off. _*I can't believe she baited me into that!*_   
  
  
**"Oh, come on Spike, you gotta admit I had you there"** She called after him.   
  
  
**"No, you had ME last night"** he called back _*hmmmm, maybe I should sleep on 'our' couch again tonight*._   
  
  
**"Well….can't I have an insibitsy kiss goodbye then?"** Faye asked in the sweetest voice she could muster.   
  
  
Spike smiled to himself.** "So you could pass all of Ein's diseases on me? Keep dreaming Cowgirl!"**   
  
  
**"OoooH! That insufferable, stupid, pigheaded…"** Faye kept swearing to her self as she boarded the redtail._ *hmmmmm, maybe I should sleep on 'our' couch again tonight* _Faye thought as she remembered Spikes reference to last nights activities.   
  
  


*************************** 

  
  
  
It was getting dark and still no Faye. Spike looked up from beneath his Swordfish II. _*that was a very easy bounty, she should've been back by now*_. He finished up his repairs and not bothering to place any of his tools back, prepared to take off.   
  
  
**"You're going after her, aren't you?"** Jet said appearing out of nowhere.   
  
  
**"Now why would I do that? I'm just gonna go take a look around, I'm really bored"   
  
  
"Whatever you say Spike, whatever you say…."**   
  
  
  


*************************** 

  
  
  
  
It was easy to find Faye, you just cruise around and wait till you hear gunshots, if it's too few – then that's probably not her. Now, if it's raining bullets or something explodes – that's your ticket. Spike found just that, a rain of bullets on a parking lot to an arcade he just passed.   
  
  
Faye was crouched low on the side of a car, waiting for a chance to fire back at her bounty. _*this bounty is getting way too troublesome for such a small amount*. _   
  
  
She looked out of the cars window just in time to see her bounty board a parked van and speed off for the exit. She aimed for the tires and managed to hit two. The van skidded precariously on its side as the driver lost control and it flipped over Faye started running for the van when it flipped but her bounty was quick to get out. _*Damn it! Took me hours to finally trace you here! Why won't you just fall dead! – uh no, can't have that". _   
  
  
To her surprise, she found the Swordfish II blocking her bounty's path. Her bounty stopped and headed the other way. **"What the hell is he doing here?"** Faye said as she glared at the offending ship.   
  
  
She stopped; her bounty was close enough so she aimed for his leg. She fired, the bullet hit its mark but the bounty picked himself up and started limping away. Faye fired again and missed. Instead she hit a parked car in front of her bounty.   
  
  
**"BOOOOOM!"** went the car as the bullet hit its gas tank. Faye picked up her bounty dragging him by the collar.   
  
  
In the Swordfish II, Spike sweat dropped **"Oh God, that was a lousy shot!"** he said to himself as he placed his head in his hand. _*she's a fuckin' walking disaster! So why do I like her so much, she isn't anything like Julia*_   
  


******************************* 

  
  
An hour later Faye sat on Spikes lap in the Swordfish II as they headed back to the Bebop. Faye's redtail?, it got impounded for damages in the arcade center, the parking lot, the flipped van, and the exploded car.   
  
  
**"I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!"** Faye screamed.   
  
  
Spike laughed.   
  
  
**"STOP LAUGHING! THIS ISNT FUNNY, NOW I NEED 100 MORE SO I CAN GET MY SHIP BACK! AAAH! WHY COULDNT YOU JUST LEND ME THE MONEY - HUH?!"**   
  
  
Spike laughed some more. **"We may have this 'thing' Faye, but you are not getting you hands on my money"**   
  
  
Faye hit him on the chest.** "This is your fault anyway!"   
  
  
"And how can this be my fault?"   
  
  
"If you hadn't got in the way……."   
  
  
"Then your bounty would've escaped, and you would've owned at least 100 more to what you owe the arcade now"   
  
  
"Humph!" **Faye decided to ignore him.   
  
  
**You trying to ignore me now?"**   
  
  
No answer.   
  
  
**"After all, I did come looking for you"**   
  
  
Faye turned to face Spike a scowl on her face.   
  
  
**"I…. did…. Get kinda worried cuzitwasgettinlateandyouwerentbackyet" **he mumbled, his eyes looking straight ahead.   
  
  
Faye smiled. ***isn't he just too cute!***   
  
  
**"thats better! told yah, you look great when you're quiet?"** Spike said smiling back **"Wanna share the couch?"   
  
  
"Maybe we could drag it to my room for the night…"   
  
  
"Your room? How bout mine?"   
  
  
"What's wrong with mine?"   
  
  
"I don't know. What's wrong with my room?. Think Jet would mind? "** Spike asked back   
  
  
**"Or, we could just sleep in one of our rooms…."   
  
  
"No, I want the couch"** they both finished at the same time.   
  


************************ 

  
  
Once they got back on the Bebop, Faye and Spike went straight for the living room.   
  
  
**"You just wasted 200,000 woolongs!"** Jet exclaimed as the two came into view.   
  
  
Spike and Faye stopped in their tracks looking around the living room.   
  
  
**"And now you owe 100 more!"** Jet continued.   
  
  
**"Where's the couch?"** Spike and Faye asked at the same time.   
  
  
**"How are you ever going to pay for your debts if you can't even catch a decent bounty!"**   
  
  
**"Jet, where's the couch?"** Spike asked.   
  
  
**"Not to mention that running a ship with a crew needs money"**   
  
  
**"Jet, where's the couch?"** Faye asked louder.   
  
  
**"The couch?. I've been yapping like some woman here and you ask me about my couch, which, I may add, you have so kindly stained with your perverted asses last night!?"**   
  
  
**"Jet, where's the couch"** Faye and Spike almost shouted.   
  
  
**"I had to get it to the cleaners! Don't think for one minute that I was going to clean that couch with your stains on it with these two hands"** Jet shivered at the thought.   
  
  
Spike started pacing. **"You mean the couch is at the cleaners?" **   
  
  
Faye slumped to the floor **"You mean I can't sleep on the couch tonight?"**   
  
  
**"Oh, no. Hell no! You are not sleeping on that couch"** Jet protested.   
  
  
**"But I want….. "** Faye turned to Spike **"I want our couch back!"**   
  
  
**"When can we get it back?"** Spike asked _*please say tonight, please say tonight*._   
  
  
**"The cleaners should be arriving with it anytime now. BUT, no one is sleeping on that couch tonight – or any other night, especially if you are going to use MY couch for YOUR little trysts!"**   
  


************************** 

  
  
Hours later and still no couch.   
  
  
**"Jet, have you called the cleaners?"** Spike asked. He was sitting on the floor beside Faye right where the couch used to sit. The air in the bebop was acrid with smoke and evey inch of available floorspace in the living room was filled with cigarette butts ,ash and used matches.   
  
  
**"Yes, they're on they're way. Why dont you do something usefull - AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!**   
  
  
**"We're not finnished smoking yet, we'll clean it up when the couch gets here"** Faye replied.   
  
  
**"You won't have any place to put the couch on with all this mess!"**   
  
  
**uh, yeah - he's right**. A blurry of motion followed that as Spike and Faye hurried to clean up.   
  
  
**" you know I just thought of it, we can't sleep here with all this smoke"** Spike said.   
  
  
**"you know you're right. let's just sleep in the hangar then"** Faye replied. **"I Bet all this smoke won't clear until tomorrow anyway"**   
  
  
Spike nodded. Jet watched the exchange and had 'ready to kill' plastered all over his face. _*Am I not here? Don't they realize it's gonna cost ME to have this ship cleared of all this smoke? oh, I am going to kill these two*_. He was about to strangle Faye when Ed came in.   
  
  
** "Jet-person, there's a delivery van outside"**   
  
  
Spike and Faye were out in a flash. There were shouted obscenities and then a gunshot or two. By the time Jet got outside, though, he found Spike and Faye pulling the couch into the hangar. He heard Faye say **"We're just going to sleep right?, coz I'm really tired"** and heard Spike's reply of **"Yeah, whatever just come here"** before seeing the two snuggle up on the newly cleaned red couch.   
  
  
In the background Jet could hear the delivery man shouting**"You're gonna hear from my lawyer, you fuckin assholes!"**   
  
  
Jet watched as his two companions snuggled together to sleep **"Damn! I thought getting those two together would finally settle things down on this ship, now, its getting' a hell of a lot more expensive!"**_ *I wonder how much that lawsuits going to cost?*_** "maybe I should get rid of that couch!"**   
  
  


**************************** 

  
  
  
**Authors notes:**   
  
>> I'm not quite sure if I stayed in character. If I didn't, my bad.   
>> the couch thing at the cleaners – uhhh does anyone do that? Send a couch to the cleaners?. OK, I don't care – my bad too.   
>> I was talking to a friend over the phone about this fic. and got some great ideas for a third installation. HINT: Faye finds out about the 10Billion bounty they caught. The rating may escalate. :D 


	3. A Woman Scorned

  
  
  
Thanks again for the reviews. I hope you like this one too.   
  
  
Disclaimer:   
Cowboy bebop is not mine.   
  
  
  


The Couch: A Woman Scorned 

  
  
  
  
Spike woke up feeling empty and misplaced. He shifted his position on the couch & quickly noticed the presence of abundant space.   
  
  
"Faye?" he asked as he sat down.   
  
  
"She went out for bounty" Jet said. He was lying on a sleeping bag beside the couch. They were all forced to sleep out on the hangar since the Bebop was still full of smoke.   
  
  
"This early?"   
  
  
"Yeah, a friend of mine called me on a tip"   
  
  
"How much?"   
  
  
"1 Million"   
  
  
"Why didn't you wake me then? She's gonna take it all and splurge it in one sitting at some casino or something."   
  
  
"I tried, you just kept snoring. You were so out in lala land you kept mumbling 'I wantmyicecreamback' over and over"   
  
  
Spike almost choked on the cigarette he was about to light. "I want my ice cream back?!"   
  
  
"Yeah" Jet laughed "what the hell were you dreamin' of Spike?. Some bully took yer ice cream? – And get yer ass off the couch you're gonna burn it!"   
  
  
Spike stood up to leave.   
  
  
"Where are you going?"   
  
  
"Gonna get my share of the bounty"   
  
  
"Never mind that I told her to take Ed"   
  
  
"ED?! You let the kid go out on a bounty?"   
  
  
"Yeah, well she needed a hacker so I got Ed to go along with her"   
  
  
Spike grinned. "wanna bet on who's coming back and who's not?"   
  
  
"Happy now huh?" Jet smiled. "Well, you can go back to being all lonesome now because since were the only ones here – you'll be my lucky assistant in cleaning the bebop"   
  
  
"Aww, Hell No!"   
  
  


****************************** 

  
  
  
Faye was back a couple of hours later. She went straight for the shower and came out wearing short shorts and a white top. She sauntered into the living room, a first aid kit in one hand and a pint of ice cream in the other. "Hey, there! Has my little baby been a good boy? Look here, see?" She waved the ice cream in front of Spike "I got you your ice cream. It's you're favorite!" She said as if she was talking to a toddler.   
  
  
"You are so creative, Faye" Spike answered mimicking her. "How's the bounty? Or should I ask – where's the money?" He continued as Faye sat down beside him on the couch.   
  
  
"Elementary" Faye replied as she reached out for some popcorn on the table. *hey, aren't we supposed to be low on budget?* she thought as she scanned the contents of the table which has a bowl of popcorn, some beer, an open bag of chips and a half eaten chocolate bar.   
  
  
"Elementary huh? That why you have that bandage on your shoulder? – Its bleeding by the way, come here"   
  
  
Faye handed Spike the first aid kit and angled herself so that he can have better access on her shoulder. "I can't very well fix it with one hand can I? And for your information, I didn't get this…" she gestured at her wound "…from the bounty. Ed, 'the genius', was playing with this crossbow she found at the museum we caught the guy in and accidentally shot me with it"   
  
  
"So where's Ed now?"   
  
  
"She 'accidentally' tied herself on the front of my redtail, Ein's out on the hangar right now trying to gnaw her off" Faye replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.   
  
  
Spike laughed as he finished re-bandaging her arm. "So where is the money Faye?"   
  
  
"Why do you keep asking me where the money is? It's not like you helped me catch the guy. And no – before you go on accusing me of being 'selfish', I still gave the kid some of it, God knows she hasn't got anything to use it on anyway, I gave Jet his share for the bebop and used my share to get my redtail back so I'm pretty much back to where I was when I started, with just a few hundred to spare, so maybe I'm gonna go out tonight and splurge it. I'm a woman you know, I like to pamper myself"   
  
  
"Hell, woman, have you ever heard of the use of a period in a sentence?. It means you stop at some point and not keep yapping away"   
  
  
"You're the one who asked lunkhead" Faye said as she grabbed another handful of popcorn "Where'd you get all these junk food anyway?"   
  
  
"Oh, those? Bought 'em"   
  
  
"With whose money?" Faye arched an eyebrow.   
  
  
"mine"   
  
  
She looked Spike straight in the eye *who's he kidding? He's almost as broke as I am* Faye thought *Hell, why can't I read those eyes of his – he just looks so damn cold!*   
  
  
"You done starring at me now?"   
  
  
"No" Faye said *well if I cant get anything out of you that way, I'll get it out of you some 'other' way*. She thought and then proceeded to slide her way onto his lap.   
  
  
"Faye, what do you think your doing? Are you planning to put on a show for Ed and Jet? Not to mention the mutt."   
  
  
"No, Jet went out somewhere and Ed as you may well remember…." Faye trailed off placing soft wet kisses along Spikes jaw.   
  
  
"managed to tie herself on the redtail….. yeah" there was an edge in his voice *ok, heighten your senses Spiegel she's about to pull something…*   
  
  
*Damn, he's reading me again – but I can fix that!* Faye slowly made her way down to his chest, as she opened his shirt one button at a time. Her hand slithered their way to his breast and lightly flicked an erect nipple with her fingers.   
  
  
"Ahh!" Spike cried out * Damn she's good*   
  
  
"Take off your pants, Spike" Faye said in a breathless whisper as she struggled to get Spikes coat off.   
  
  
Spike's hands were busy fumbling with his belt when he sensed Faye's hand rummaging around in his coat. Too late, though because Faye quickly snatched his Cash Card and easily avoided his hands as she looked at it's current balance. (note: sorry but I don't know what those card things are called)   
  
  
Spike gave up and just prepared himself for the coming slaughter. *she's gonna see it anyway* he thought.   
  
  
Faye's face turned into a menacing monster as she read the balance through gritted teeth "10,000,000.00 woolongs. Grrrrrrrrrr! Where did you get this?"   
  
  
"10 billion bounty, didn't Spike-person tell you?" Ed said. She was crouching right beside the two.   
  
  
"Aaack! How'd you get lose?" Spike asked.   
  
  
"Ein ate the rope".   
  
  
"10 billion bounty? What 10 billion……" Faye remembered the bounty they brought in a couple of days ago "that was 10 billion?.... not 10 million?" She turned to Spike "I'm gonna kill you – you fuckin' piece of lying shit!!!!!" she screamed as she punctuated each word with a punch and a kick, pummeling Spike into the couch.   
  
  
Spike caught each fist in his hand and flipped Faye onto her back trapping her beneath his body. "Calm down Faye…." He grinned.   
  
  
"CALM DOWN??! YOU FUCKIN CALM DOWN YOU LYING CHEATING SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed as she struggled to get free.   
  
  
"Hey. Its not like we didn't give you anything, you're just gonna waste it all anyway" He said. He couldn't help but smile at her struggling form beneath him.   
  
  
"YOU HAD ME RUNNING AROUND AFTER A SMALL BOUNTY, MY REDTAIL GOT IMPOUNDED BECAUSE – I – THOUGHT WE WERE RUNNING LOW ON CASH – AGAIN! AND ALL THIS WHILE YOU WERE SITTING AROUND ON A MOUNTAIN OF CASH!!!!!???? I GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY A STUPID ARROW!!!!!"   
  
  
Spike snickered.   
  
  
* oh really, you think this is funny? well there's no hell like a woman scorned Spike, you just wait*. She pulled her knee up and it went into contact with something 'very soft' in between Spikes legs. Hard!.   
  
  


***************************** 

  
  
  
Jet heard Faye's screams when he got inside the Bebop and ran into the living room just in time to see Spike fall limply down on the floor clutching his g***n as Faye kneed him..   
  
  
"What the hell are you doing now?" Jet said.   
  
  
"What are we doing?" Faye said. "You lied to me! You got me working my ass off while the two of you sat here and watched!". She said as she kicked Spike for good measure. He was still rolling around on the floor.   
  
  
"Fine, I'll give you some, satisfied?" Jet said putting his hands up *there goes our budget*   
  
  
"Never mind the money Jet, I've seen where it went. Everything's fixed around here. But you" She kicked at Spike again "I'm not finished with you yet Cowboy!" She said as she left.   
  
  
"oh, God!" Spike said looking up at Jet and clutching his b***s "you gotta take me to a hospital Jet, I think I'm gonna be amputated".   
  
  
"the hospital? Spike, from the looks on her face, I think I'd better hide my ass on the other side of the galaxy".   
  
  
A while later Jet was speeding through the Bebop yelling for ED.   
  
  
"ED! Come on!, we got to get out of here! Go grab Ein!" He said as he took a look around the living room to see if he would leave anything he knows will get damaged later on *oh yeah, the couch*. "Wait here a sec. Ed. This won't take long…"   
  
  
"Where are we going Jet-person?" asked Ed but all the answer the kid got was a whispered "Spikes gonna kill her this time".   
  
  
A minute later he, Ed, and Ein were on his hammerhead speeding off.   
  
  
Spike went out of his room. The ship was unearthly quiet. *what's going on here, where'd everybody go?*. He thought as he made his way to the hangar. His mouth dropped. His hair stood on ends and turned white. His skin turned from pale, to blue to red and back again as he fell to his knees his arms reaching out.   
  
  
Right there in front of him was a grinning Faye, victory plastered all over her face as she presented him with a newly painted Swordfish II.   
  
  
"Oh, God not my BABY!" Spike cried. As he crawled his way to his ship. A Neon Pink Swordfish II with yellow polka dots. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Spike screamed.   
  
  
After a grueling 4 hours of trying to get the pink paint off of his Swordfish II. He finally decided to just bring it into a paint shop the next day and left it as it is. He went back inside, stopped by the bathroom then went into the living room. He stopped in his tracks to find the new couch with a smooth transparent plastic covering. There was a note on it in Jets handwriting that said 'now you can't stain it whatever hell breaks out while were gone'.   
  
  
*Fine*. He lit a cigarette and sat on the couch. He stretched his legs, placed his hands and rested his head on the back of it. He relaxed and…….   
  
  
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.   
  
  
He slid right off of the plastics smooth surface and landed on the floor.   
  
  
*Great, juuuuust great* he thought as he took a nice long drag from his cigarette.   
  
  
After a couple of minutes, Faye came waltzing out of her room, she passed the living room on her way to the bathroom and noticed Spike sitting on the floor. "watcha doin' on the floor Spike? Lookin for your brains?" She said as she passed him.   
  
  
In the bathroom, Faye took off her clothes and went into the shower, she turned on the water.   
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"   
  
  
"Revenge is sweet" Spike said as he heard Faye's screams. A minute later he heard the loud banging of her steps on the Bebop's floor.   
  
  
"HOW DO I TAKE THIS OFF?" She said between clenched teeth.   
  
  
Spike guffawed. In front of him was an almost naked Faye in her underwear. Her skin had turned neon pink. "It won't come off for a couple of days!"   
  
  
"WHAT?!, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She cried as she dove at him   
  
  
They wrestled on the floor for a couple of minutes until Faye shoved Spike aside and took hold of his pack of cigarettes. "Alright! Alright! Truce for now, but the war isn't over yet!" She said "I'm just too tired from painting your ship…" she yawned and lit the cigarette as she sat down on the couch.   
  
  
Spike's eyebrow flinched as he remembered his BABY but he looked at Faye expectantly. She rested an elbow on the back of the couch and relaxed herself.   
  
  
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.   
  
  
Faye slid right off. Spike clutched his stomach and started laughing again.   
  
  
"Why is the couch covered in plastic?"   
  
  
"So we couldn't stain it." Spike answered in between bouts of laughter.   
  
  


****************************** 

  
  
  
Jet, Ed and Ein has just landed the hammerhead and heard the laughter from the inside. *I guess the storms over* he thought as his gaze landed on the Swordfish II. "Oh, God!" he said as he laughed his head off.   
  
  
"Wow, zipcraft looks pretty" Ed said as she marveled at the ship.   
  
  
Jet made his way to the living room laughing and thinking if his couch was ok. Once there he found Spike on the floor clutching his stomach as he laughed with a Pink Faye glaring at the couch. It was untouched. Jet laughed some more as he went over to them.   
  
  
"Are you two done now? Why can't you just grow up?" He said as he sat down.   
  
  
Spike and Faye turned to him expectantly.   
  
  
'Spppplllllliiiifffff". flop.   
  
  
"Shit!"   
  
  
Spike and Faye laughed "can we take plastic off now?" Faye asked   
  
  
"and get your pink butt all over it? Shit no!" Jet said, he was now glaring at the couch. He stood up. "Im cooking dinner. What do you guys want?"   
  
  
"Beef" said Spike.   
  
  
"I'm going to my room to put some clothes on" Faye announced.   
  
  
"hehe you don't need 'em Faye you look like your wearing pink leotards underneath your underwear".   
  
  
An hour later they were seated in the kitchen eating dinner.   
  
  
"Let's take off the plastic, Jet no one can sleep let alone sit on that couch with it on" Faye complained. *I want my couch but I'm not sharing!*   
  
  
"She's right you know, why have a couch if you cant use it" Spike added. *I want my couch but I'm not sharing!*   
  
  
Jet was about to reply when.   
  
  
"Weeeeeeeee! Flop. Weeeeeeee! Flop. Weeeeeeee! Flop."   
  
  
They looked at each other then headed for the living room.   
  
  
Ed climbed onto the back of the couch then let go.   
  
  
"Weeeeeee! Flop!" she went as she slid on the couch. She stood up and climbed back on again.   
  
  
"Weeeeeee! Flop!"   
  
  


******************************* 

  
  
  
Author's Notes:   
  
>>>>Anyone out there knows what they call that card thing they use like a credit card?.   
>>>> thanks Beth for the plastic cover idea.   
>>>> if there's any corrections with the grammar and spelling, sorry 'coz I'm soooo lazy right now to bother - :D. I'll get around to it on the next chapter. Hopefully around next week 'coz I have plenty to do this weekend.   
  
  



End file.
